Some people de-stress with yoga. Others fire up the lawnmower and reclaim their suburban kingdom, one aggressively neat row at a time. This shirt is for anyone whose idea of inner peace is telling the world to sod off—politely, with a power tool.

Perfect for mowing maniacs, backyard philosophers, and folks who take their grass as seriously as their boundaries. Whether it’s a passive-aggressive HOA jab or just your weekend personality, this shirt trims expectations like a crisp edge pass.

📏 Size Chart (Unisex)
Size | Width (in) | Length (in)
S | 18 | 28
M | 20 | 29
L | 22 | 30
XL | 24 | 31
2XL | 26 | 32
3XL | 28 | 33

💡 Width = armpit to armpit; Length = shoulder to bottom hem.
For a looser fit, consider sizing up. For a fight with the dryer later, size down.


• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US