You’re not old. Not one bit. You just need to stretch a little... and sit.

You’re not old—you’re just creaky.
You’re not broken—you’re... peaky.
You don’t need meds or magic or gold—
Just a mat, a breath, and a stretch to hold.

This Seuss-style snark tank reminds you (and everyone else) that age is a mindset, posture is propaganda, and a little yoga might just delay your next existential crisis.

Perfect for those aging gracefully-ish with sarcasm and side planks.

📏 Size Chart – Women’s Racerback Tank (Next Level 1533)
Size | Width (in) | Length (in)
XS | 15.25 | 27
S | 16 | 27.5
M | 17 | 28
L | 18 | 28.5
XL | 19.5 | 29
2XL | 21 | 29.5
💡 Slim fit with stretch. If your vibe is “free spirit, not tight spirit,” size up. Lightweight and breathable, it moves with you—whether you’re lifting, lounging, or layering.
• 60% combed ringspun cotton, 40% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4 oz./yd.² (113.4 g/m²)
• Lightweight jersey
• Breathable and comfy for all-day wear
• Fitted silhouette
• Scoop neck and racerback
• Self-binding seams in matching colors for a seamless look
• Blank product sourced from Honduras